#Stage4Lifer: A Plane No One Wants to Board

Hear My Voice Volunteer Kristi Stone, on being her own healthcare advocate, educating others and enjoying life to the fullest. Join the #Stage4Lifer campaign with Kristi!

 

I am one of the faces of metastatic breast cancer. I’m Kristi Stone,  a 46-year-old wife and mother of two daughters. Describing what MBC is like is akin to waiting in line to board a plane that no one wants to board. I was diagnosed at age 44, on Christmas Day, 2014, with de novo (or initial diagnosis with) metastatic, or stage 4, breast cancer that spread to my bones, neck to knees, and innumerable lesions in my liver.  Being told treatment would not likely work and that I had about 30 days to live, was the biggest shock of my life. I received the news in such a cold, heartless manner at an emergency room, by a doctor who simply gave the news and then just walked away.

I researched and found an oncologist, sure that the doctor at the ER had to be wrong. I wish that had been the news I got,  but my initial  diagnosis was correct. My new oncologist told me the same thing. I ran out of that office, fell into some sticker bushes crying as hard as I ever have. I went home and tried to gather my thoughts. I went to see my oncologist and asked if we could at least try treatment. We decided to try. I’m very thankful that I did!

I was barely able to walk. I was using a wheelchair most of the time, because I had become so weak. I’ve felt better with every month I’ve been on the prescribed oral chemo. The treatment has been very effective for me. I have three brain mets,  but they are very small and stay controlled.

I enjoy life as much as possible, finding joy in the simplest things. I try to help others through my advocacy work, reminding folks that a metastatic breast cancer diagnosis can happen to anyone, at any age, even if you live a healthy lifestyle. And that research is our best weapon against it.

My goal is to live with MBC the best I can, continuing a quality life as long as possible. My priorities are spending time with family and friends and pushing for more research for this deadly breast cancer, so that this disease stops claiming thousands of lives a year. I want out of this line, and I don’t want to board that MBC plane. I don’t want to see anyone else have to get on either.

In the meantime,  I will enjoy each day I’m fortunate enough to have, and have the time of my life at every opportunity! Living, laughing and loving.

 

You heard Kristi’s voice. Raise yours. Join #Stage4Lifer on Twitter and Instagram.

Stage4Lifer: Menopause and MBC at Age 40 – The Journey I Didn’t Choose

Young people can be diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer. For Stage4Lifer, Dionna Koval writes about learning she had metastasis to her bones at age 42.

 

I had my first mammogram on my 40th birthday and continued to do them each year after that. In April 2014, months after my annual mammogram, I just finished moving into a new home and started having pain under my right breast. I thought I pulled a muscle from moving and ignored the pain. By the next day the pain was so unbearable that I couldn’t breathe.

My mother finally convinced me to go to the emergency room. Once there they did a series of tests, including a CT scan. By mistake the tech did the scan higher up on my breast; thank God she did because that’s how my lump was found – along with 3 broken ribs. My last mammogram was done in September of the prior year so I wasn’t that worried but in the back of my head I kept thinking what if. I was sent to do another mammogram and ultrasound. It was then that the radiologist told me he was positive it was cancer without even doing a biopsy. I had the biopsy done, and the wait for the results drove me nuts. Sure enough on April 25 I was told I had breast cancer.

Hearing the words, “You have cancer,” at 42 was like a punch in the gut, especially since I had my mammograms regularly. My life came to a halt. I have a son and am divorced. I wondered how I was I going to get through all this. Little did I know, I hadn’t even heard the worst news.

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By that Monday I was contemplating whether I was getting a single or double mastectomy. Before I could make a decision, my surgeon called to tell me that we weren’t doing the surgery anymore; my doctors learned that the cancer had progressed to my bones – I was officially diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer. Once again I was devastated. Many thoughts ran through my head. I thought my diagnosis meant I was going to die soon.

I met with my oncologist the following Monday and couldn’t even hear what she was saying. It was tough for me to wrap my head around all of the terms being used and the news overall. The type of cancer I have is ER/PR-positive. My healthcare team and I decided upon a treatment plan and I started that day. It consists of three injections of Faslodex and Lupron. Here I am, in my early 40s, and put straight into menopause. I was told my cancer would respond best to this treatment, and I’ve been on it for the last 2 years.

At the beginning of my journey, I realized that I didn’t even know a lot about this cancer and neither did my family and friends. Why is it that something this serious was never talked about? How could I have lived without knowing more about MBC? Now that I have this diagnosis, how long do I have left? This cancer will eventually kill me but I’m not ready for that. I need answers, I need a cure! I’m living my life as I always have done but with more of a mission, if that makes sense. Since I don’t have the answers I need or want I will not let anything stop me from enjoying time with my son, family, and friends.

Looking back to the beginning of my nightmare, I can’t imagine doing any of this alone. I learned a lot about myself and people that I thought were friends. My biggest support system has been my parents. I live with them now because there are times I need help. I feel secure and safe knowing I have them in my corner.

My biggest fear is dying soon and not seeing my son graduate from high school, start college, get married, have children. I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way. I’m there for every milestone my son has. I don’t care how sick I am or how much I’m hurting – I will never miss time with him.

This journey was not one I would ever have chosen but this journey has made me stronger than ever. This journey allowed me to meet other strong women like myself. This journey will help me educate women who don’t know what MBC is. This journey motivates me to raise my voice for for those that need to understand our need for a cure. I might not be able to change the world as quickly as I’d like, but I will make a change. I plan on saving my own life, to be there for and with my son. This journey has not taken the fight out of me. I will live my life with determination, purpose and most of all love. Negativity doesn’t belong in my life and “no, I can’t” isn’t something I say. This journey may have chosen me but I will make this journey the best one yet!

You heard Dionna’s voice. Raise yours. Join #Stage4Lifer on social media.


Dionna Koval is 44 years old and was diagnosed with breast cancer on April 25, 2014. She later learned she had stage IV disease that spread to her bones. She’s lived with the disease for more than two years. She completed LBBC’s Hear My Voice: Metastatic Breast Cancer Outreach Volunteer Program training this past April. When she’s not educating others about MBC, she enjoys spending time with her 14-year-old son, family and friends.

#Stage4Lifer: “I Am Not What Happened to Me”

Stage IV, or metastatic, breast cancer is breast cancer that has spread beyond the breast to other parts of the body. For #Stage4Lifer, Hear My Voice Volunteer April Hines reflects on her diagnosis with the disease and how it’s changed her life.

“I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.”
-Carl Jung

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April and her husband at Abram’s Falls on the Appalachian Trail. It’s one of the places they hiked for their honeymoon.

Originally diagnosed with early stage breast cancer in 2012 at age 31, I endured every treatment available to me (surgery, chemotherapy, radiation and hormonal therapy; then later ovarian suppression and an aromatase inhibitor). After it all ended, I thought myself to be cancer-free. I moved on to choosing what I dreamed my life would become: getting married to the love of my life in October 2015, spending my honeymoon climbing mountains and planning for the future overall.

Shortly after returning home, I went in for a routine exam at my primary care physician’s office. The end result of this routine exam and everything that came after it  was this: getting diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer (MBC) in January 2016. I now have breast cancer in my bones and liver.

I think the most important lesson I’ve learned thus far is that there is no right way to cope. The impact of learning you have metastatic breast cancer doesn’t stop affecting you on the day you learn the news. It takes time to work through the grieving process.

I can tell you that it’s not advisable to Google statistics. And, it’s okay to have the same expectation for your family and friends. I choose to spend my life creating amazing moments and not focusing on how many celebrations I might have left.

After absorbing my reality – there is no cure for metastatic breast cancer – and having my world turned upside down, I felt terribly alone. I felt that I’d failed my loved ones; that somehow people would think that I did something wrong. I found there were people in my life that weren’t able to handle my diagnosis – people who are no longer in my life. While I threw myself into advocacy educating the public on my disease, I found that others weren’t comfortable hearing my truth. I finally realized that it’s not my job to make someone feel better about this disease. This isn’t a pretty pink ribbon and we don’t have to romanticize our stories to make others feel better. I try to ask my friends that are uncomfortable hearing about this disease to remember that it’s even more difficult to live with it, especially with no support.

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April and her husband enjoying her mom’s chicken noodle soup on the day she was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer. She says, “If our parents hadn’t helped us out that day and the days that followed, I’m not sure how we would’ve managed.”

There are days where I’m enveloped with the “what if” thoughts. I am reminded by those who’ve been going through this for a while that it takes time to work through the grieving process. Some days I feel “normal” and can focus on advocacy work. Other times, stress means I need to step away from social media and advocacy for a period of time. I’ve found it important to repeat psychiatrist Carl Jung’s quote to myself over and over. It’s important that I remember that I’m still me; this is just me learning to live with metastatic breast cancer.

If there can be anything positive about this diagnosis, it’s the support. The silver linings are friendships with all the wonderful women and men who are MBC patients and those I’ve met through nonprofit organizations such as Living Beyond Breast Cancer, METAvivor and MET UP. Today there are so many social media connections that can be made globally on platforms such as Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

When I first posted that I had been diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer in a breast cancer support group on Facebook, someone pointed me to online groups for MBC. Through those support groups, I found out about Living Beyond Breast Cancer’s Thriving Together Metastatic Breast Cancer Conference and thankfully my husband and I were able to attend in April 2016.

I can’t tell you in words how incredibly powerful it was to make these connections with people in the same situation as us. We celebrate each other’s victories as they’re our own victories, and we suffer the defeats the same way –  together.

And, I believe one day we’ll achieve what I feel is the ultimate dream – better treatment options and improved quality of life for metastatic cancer patients, turning this terminal disease into a chronic condition. Until then, in the words of Dylan Thomas, “I’ll not go gently into the night; I’ll rage against the dying of the light.”

You’ve heard April’s voice. Raise your voice with #Stage4Lifer.

See April takeover our Instagram account @livingbeyondbc this Wednesday, September 26!


April Hines was originally diagnosed with stage IIB breast cancer in January 2012. She was later diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer on January 22, 2016. When she and her husband are not fighting breast cancer, they’re taking care of their dogs, hiking and kayaking near their home in the Chattanooga, Tennessee, area, and spending as much time as possible with their two nieces and nephew.

Overcoming Fear of Family History: Caitlin Kelly

Written By Robin Warshaw, Contributing Writer

For most of her life, Caitlin Kelly was afraid of cancer. Her grandmother died of ovarian cancer at 57. Caitlin’s mother, then 37, was treated for early-stage breast cancer. Twin aunts on her mother’s side both had ovarian cancer and died. A maternal great-aunt died from breast cancer, as did that woman’s daughter.

“Since I was a little girl, there was always the presence of someone being ill,” says Caitlin, 33, who lives in South Portland, Maine.

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In her teens and 20s, she became aware that changes or mutations in a BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene can run in families, causing higher risks of breast and ovarian cancers. Genetic testing can determine if a woman or man has a BRCA mutation.

Her mother’s diagnosis happened before BRCA testing was available. One aunt later tested positive for a BRCA1 mutation, but her mother thought Caitlin was too young to be tested and have the burden of results weighing on her. Caitlin believes her mother was trying to protect her from discrimination related to genetic information.

As she got older, Caitlin heard that women should start being screened for breast cancer 10 years before the age at which their mothers were diagnosed.

“That would have been when I was 27, but I was too scared,” she says. Having breast cancer or ovarian cancer “was something I thought was probably inevitable but I just wasn’t ready to face.”

Delaying Action

Instead, like many young people, she focused on school and her career. She was close with the aunt who was BRCA-positive and who had lived with ovarian cancer for 6 years, so “when she passed away, it was really difficult for me. I think that contributed to my fear,” she says.

Her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer again when Caitlin was 29. This time, it was in the opposite breast and was a more aggressive type. She tested positive for a BRCA1 mutation.

Caitlin took time off from working as an apparel designer to help her mother in Massachusetts. Her mother’s doctors strongly advised Caitlin to get breast cancer screening and genetic testing. At her mother’s first chemotherapy session, the doctors had a genetic counselor come in to speak with Caitlin.

She did not follow up with the counselor. “I had a really hard time with my mom getting cancer a second time. I couldn’t possibly think about myself,” she says. The pressure from the healthcare professionals made her feel uncomfortable, “even though I know to this day that it’s really great they pushed me.”

About two years later, Caitlin went for her first mammogram. She had early-stage, hormone receptor-positive, HER2-positive breast cancer in one breast. She also tested positive for BRCA1.

Paying for Fertility Preservation

After talking with her surgeon about the characteristics of her cancer, genetic risks and family history, Caitlin decided to have a double mastectomy and reconstruction. The surgeon encouraged her to see a fertility specialist about freezing her eggs before chemotherapy might damage them.

“I had to accept that other people needed to help me.”

Having children hadn’t been in her thoughts. She had just started dating a man two weeks before her diagnosis. They are now in a committed relationship.

Under pressure to act quickly before chemotherapy, she was upset to learn it would cost $6,000 for egg removal plus one year of freezing. “I don’t have that kind of savings and they don’t do the procedure until you pay all of it upfront,” she says.

Independent by nature, Caitlin didn’t like being public about her situation, yet realized “I had to accept that other people needed to help me.” Her mother started a blog to tell friends and family what was going on. That inspired Caitlin’s cousins to set up a GoFundMe page to raise money for egg preservation. The cost of fertility medicines was covered through LIVESTRONG Fertility.

She had 32 eggs extracted and frozen. The eggs can be tested for genetic mutation before being used, a fact Caitlin calls “a silver lining.”

“That means I can hopefully not pass this down to anybody else if I’m blessed with a child,” she says.

In that way, she can help write a new chapter of family history.

#mybodytude: Redefining Beauty After Diagnosis and Treatment

Tonie Jones, panelist for our July 14 Breast Cancer 360 program,  blogs about redefining beauty for #mybodytude. Read other posts in the mybodytude photo diary series.

After she began treatment for metastatic breast cancer, Hear My Voice Outreach Volunteer Tonie Jones forced herself to rediscover her body’s strength and beauty. The esthetician chronicles her “bodytude” from before diagnosis, after and beyond in this photo diary for the #mybodytude campaign.

Go to Instagram and share your selfie after a breast cancer diagnosis – use #mybodytude and you’ll have the chance to win a Visa gift card!

Visit LBBC.ORG to learn more about this selfie contest and campaign.

Tonie 1

My name is Tonie. At the age of 43 I had started a new career as an Esthetician and Makeup Artist. I was finally living my dream. I was also thrilled that I had finally gotten back down to a size 10 in jeans. Little did I know I was thin because I was sick. Four months after this picture was taken I was diagnosed with Stage IV Metastatic Breast Cancer. #mybodytude #breastcancer #bodyimage #baldisbeautiful #bodypositivity #dontignorestageiv #cancersucks #bcsm #breastcancerawareness #metastaticbreastcancer

Tonie 2

I was scared of so much. I was scared of how cancer would change my looks. I was scared of how my clients would react to me as I began to lose my hair and eyebrows. But, mostly I was scared of dying and leaving my three daughters without a mother. I had to fight and, I had to live. #mybodytude #breastcancer #bodyimage #baldisbeautiful #bodypositivity #dontignorestageiv #cancersucks #bcsm #breastcancerawareness #metastaticbreastcancer

Tonie 3

Man, did my makeup skills come in handy once the hair was gone. I did a lot of wigs and head wraps to hide my diagnosis at work from clients. But, when I would get home and wash it all off I had to face the reality of my life. The image in the mirror minus the makeup and wigs was hard to swallow. It was like watching myself disappear slowly. No hair, no lashes, no eyebrows and no facial expressions. I had become a shell of the person I once was. #mybodytude #breastcancer #bodyimage #baldisbeautiful #bodypositivity #dontignorestageiv #cancersucks #bcsm #breastcancerawareness #metastaticbreastcancer

Tonie 4

As my hair began to sprout up I faced the challenge of losing my breast. In August 2014, I had a double mastectomy without reconstruction. Talk about changes to your #mybodytude. After, losing so much of myself I physically I had to dig deep emotionally to find myself again. #mybodytude #breastcancer #bodyimage #baldisbeautiful #bodypositivity #dontignorestageiv #cancersucks #bcsm #breastcancerawareness #metastaticbreastcancer

Tonie 5

This picture was taken at my fist LBBC conference for MBC. This was the first time I was in room with other women who had the same body challenges that I had. It was liberating to look across the room and see others who had just grown their hair back, had just lost their hair and other beautiful women who were breastless. It was the first time in a long time that I had felt beautiful and not embarrassed about my body in really long time. #mybodytude #breastcancer #bodyimage #baldisbeautiful #bodypositivity #dontignorestageiv #cancersucks #bcsm #breastcancerawareness #metastaticbreastcancer

Tonie 6

This is me today! On July 15th, it will be two years since chemo ended. I’m not cured but I am stable. I am grateful for everyday that comes. The brows are thinner, I am back to wearing my wigs and extensions, Although, I work out pretty regularly I am 25lbs heavier than I was when I was diagnosed. Everyday, I find an issue with my body. I hate summers and tank tops. It’s so hard to work that out with bras and prosthesis. I begin my journey of reconstruction in October. All that being said life is to precious to really worry too much about the extra pounds, and stunted hair growth. I look in the mirror and I see me. Beautiful, strong, courageous me. That’s my #mybodytude. #breastcancer #bodyimage #baldisbeautiful #bodypositivity #dontignorestageiv #cancersucks #bcsm #breastcancerawareness #metastaticbreastcancer

Share your bodytude after breast cancer on Instagram with #mybodytude! Follow these instructions for the chance to win a gift card for joining the campaign.

See what others are posting to #mybodytude on Instagram.

Get more information and hear more of Tonie’s story during our free program on Thursday, July 14, Love, Sex and Relationships: Body Acceptance After Diagnosis.


Tonie Jones is an ethetician in the Denver, CO area known as The Brow Snob. She was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer in 2014. Follow her on Instagram: brow_snob.

#mybodytude: Physical Changes and Clothes Shopping After Stage IV

Bald Ballerina and Hear My Voice: Metastatic Breast Cancer Outreach Volunteer Maggie Kudirka’s #mybodytude post on her body image and clothing style changes after a metastatic breast cancer diagnosis. Read other posts in the mybodytude photo diary series.

 

Your attitude toward your body and how you express it may change after a breast cancer diagnosis and treatment. In this photo diary, Bald Ballerina Maggie Kudirka discusses how treatment for metastatic breast cancer changed her approach to clothes shopping and her overall “bodytude”.

Read Maggie’s photo diary and share your bodytude about breast cancer and body image on Instagram! Use #mybodytude and you’ll have the chance to win a Visa gift card!

Visit LBBC.ORG to learn more about this selfie contest and campaign.

1st picture

I’m Maggie, also known as the Bald Ballerina, diagnosed at age 23 with metastatic breast cancer. I was a thin but curvy dancer with a full bust – far from the small-breasted ideal ballerina shape. I often wished my breasts were much, much smaller. It would make fitting into costumes and finding clothes that fit much easier. #mybodytude #breastcancer #bodyimage #metastaticbreastcancer #terminalbreastcancer

2nd Picture

Before I was diagnosed, I wore bright, colorful clothes; there were very few neutrals in my closet. I don’t know if it was because I was more carefree or if it was because I had to wear black leotards in ballet class. #mybodytude #breastcancer #bodyimage #metastaticbreastcancer #terminalbreastcancer

3rd Picture Photo Credit Lucas Chilczuk

One of the challenges of being a dancer with a full bust is keeping your chest from becoming a distraction. You don’t want people watching your bust go up and down during a jumping combination or checking out your cleavage when you bend forward. So I had to find good, supportive bras and then find leotards that covered up straps. (Photo Credit: Lucas Chilczuk) #mybodytude #breastcancer #bodyimage #metastaticbreastcancer #terminalbreastcancer

4th Picture

The morning after my double mastectomy was one of the happiest days of my life. The source of my cancer was gone and I finally had the body I always wanted – no reconstruction for me! My surgeon Dr Neil Friedman told me that was my silver lining. My smile tells the whole story. #mybodytude #breastcancer #bodyimage #metastaticbreastcancer #terminalbreastcancer

5th Picture. Photo Credit Andrew Holtz

Since I no longer needed a bra, I could wear any kind of leotard – spaghetti straps, low back, one shoulder, etc. I loved the freedom this offered me. Later that year, I worked with one of my favorite choreographers on a new piece. It was a relief that I did not need to worry about how supportive the costume would be. Photo credit Andrew Holtz #mybodytude #breastcancer #bodyimage #metastaticbreastcancer #terminalbreastcancer

6th Picture

Cancer raised my awareness of the toxic chemicals that are ubiquitous in our environment, not only in our food and household items, but also in the fibers used to make our clothing. I now make an effort to purchase clothes made from organic, sustainable fibers that are undyed or dyed using non-toxic natural dyes. As a result, my color palette has become more muted and neutral. I appreciate the subtle shades of undyed natural fibers like wool, linen, and cotton and I like that no toxic chemicals were used to produce or dye the fibers. #mybodytude #breastcancer #bodyimage #metastaticbreastcancer #terminalbreastcancer

Share your bodytude after breast cancer on Instagram with #mybodytude! Follow these instructions for the chance to win a gift card for joining the campaign.

Learn more about body image, dating and relationships during our free program on Thursday, July 14, Love, Sex and Relationships: Body Acceptance After Diagnosis.


Maggie Kudirka, known on social media as the Bald Ballerina, was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer in 2014 at age 23.  She was a member of the Joffrey Concert Group in New York City before the diagnosis put her dancing career on hold. Following surgery, Maggie went back in the studio to work on regaining her strength, stamina and technique. She hopes to return to dancing in New York City again. Learn more about Maggie on her website, baldballerina.org, and follow her on Instagram: @baldballerina.

mybodytude: Losing Your Hair as a Hairstylist

Hair stylist Allyson Lynch shares a photo diary on hair loss, body image and breast cancer for our blog and Instagram campaign, #mybodytude

A reality of breast cancer: it not only changes your body, but also your bodytude (the attitude you have toward your body and how you express your attidue to life), too! Allyson Lynch kicks off our #mybodytude Campaign with her story about hair loss as a stylist.

Read Allyson’s photo diary and share your bodytude about breast cancer and body image on Instagram! Use #mybodytude and you’ll have the chance to win a Visa gift card!

Visit LBBC.ORG to learn more about this selfie contest and campaign.

Allyson 1

My name is Allyson and this is 26 year old me. All smiles after growing my hair long for a few years and finally mastering my own blowout. Haha. Unbeknownst to me that would all soon change. I’m here to tell a little part of my story and showing what #mybodytude was like losing your hair as a hairstylist.

Allyson 2

My biggest fear was seeing giant clumps of hair falling out in my hands, so, instead of waiting for the inevitable I wanted to take control. I had a head shaving party right before my first treatment and some of my closest friends and family shaved their heads with me. Having that support was one of the biggest gifts I received. It was hard to see the hair go that I had just spent so much time growing out but in a weird way it was freeing, I kinda felt bad ass like G.I. Jane.

Allyson 3

After a while I totally embraced the bare head, it was awesome and wigs were way too hot, especially when you were having a hot flash. Yea, I could have rocked that baldness 24/7 but what got me the most was all the other hair – eyebrows, eyelashes, nose hair! I did what I could with makeup when I felt up to all that. Being called “fella” in public a few times did not help with #mybodytude at this point.

Allyson 4

As my hair grew back “old man style” – pretty much there was hair on all sides and the top of my head had bald spots for so long. I still refused to wear wigs for longer than a few hours, even though I collected quite a few because my hair stylist side got really excited for the options. But until my hair started to grow in without any super visable bald spot I just continued to shave my head up until a couple months after treatment ended.

Allyson 5

And this is me today at 28 years old, just about a year and a half post treatment. I’ve taken the weird growing back stages in stride, experimenting and having fun with my colors and cuts. I’m loving my long pixie-hawk I started to sport earlier this year although I miss the ease of not having to do a thing with it. Cancer taught me how to say “screw it” and that small philosophy helps keep #mybodytude more positive. Life’s short, its ok if your hair is too.

Share your bodytude after breast cancer on Instagram with #mybodytude! Follow these instructions for the chance to win a gift card for joining the campaign.

Discover more insight and tips around body changes, dating and relationships during our free program on Thursday, July 14, Love, Sex and Relationships: Body Acceptance After Diagnosis.


Allyson Lynch is a hairstylist who  lives and works in suburban Philadelphia. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in April 2014. She later learned she was a carrier of the BRCA 1 gene mutation. Follow her on Instagram at @horror_cosmic.