Carol Miele’s Metastatic Madness is this month’s Healing Through Poetry feature:
You have to be half-mad to live with this disease,
It seems to have a way of bringing you to your knees.
Cancer cells invade your body and soon they settle in,
Uninvited and unwanted, the beast beneath your skin.
The big, bad chemo drugs like a tsunami, blew it all away,
But like the worst kind of nightmare, it will return someday.
You don’t know when, you don’t know how, you only know it will,
So you clean out closets, throw away old papers and update your Living Will.
People often say, “Well, we’re all going to die, each one of us,
Tomorrow, I could go out and get hit by a car or bus.”
I sometimes wish I would step off a curb and get mowed down by a truck
How much quicker an end that would be than a slow, agonizing one, just my luck.
Tests and treatments, meds and oversight by my oncology team,
I accept that I must comply, but inside I just want to scream.
And all the while, I silently pray it won’t ruin my life plan,
Cause Id like to see my beautiful grandson grow up to be a man.
And I’d like to see my friends & family just a little longer.
That doesn’t seem like much to ask from the ‘evil cancer monger‘.
Tumor markers, cancer antigens, scans and other tests,
Rule my world like the cancer in my bones and both my breasts.
The truly maddening part is that one day it will spread too far,
And how will I cope as I begin to fade, just like a falling star?
No one knows what lies ahead, as we don’t have a crystal ball,
All we know is that we want someone to catch us when we fall.
Tags: breast cancer treatment, chemotherapy, metastatic breast cancer, quality of life

January 9, 2012 at 6:23 pm |
Thanks for posting my poem…I think others like me with Stage IV Breast Cancer need to share their feelings to know that we all basically have the same fears, anxieties, hope and dreams. You might feel less alone when you realize others have experiences with their cancer just like you.
Poetry helps me to get the feelings out that would otherwise plague me…to put it on paper is cathartic…I can go on with my life, enjoy each day to the fullest & leave the fears & negative feelings behind. .
January 9, 2012 at 7:48 pm |
Thanks for sharing your honest feeling and emotions surrounding stage IV breast cancer. And, your poetry is a powerful way to illustrate those feelings. We’d love to invite you to add your poem to our digital cancer quilt where people are sharing their stories and experiences: http://www.facingcancertogether.co/ We too are trying to help others know they’re not alone in their experiences. Take good care!
January 9, 2012 at 8:24 pm |
Thank you for your kind comments & your invitation to include my poem in your digital quilt…I would be honored.
February 6, 2012 at 9:08 pm
Thank you so much for adding patches to our Digital Quilt! And, thanks for sharing your poetry with the world. I know it will impact many! What a gift you have! Thank you again!
January 9, 2012 at 9:38 pm |
I watched my sister go through chemo and dwindle down to 85 pounds when she was only 46 years old. She had ovalian cancer stage 4. It wasn’t a good time for us. I know Carolann and I am proud of the way she is handling her problem. She is a great lady and I am proud to know her.
Palma Cariati – Old Forge, Pa.
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January 9, 2012 at 10:12 pm |
I have the honor of knowing Carol Miele. She is an intelligent, caring, compassionate woman. This poem made me cry…. over the injustice of this monster called cancer. Carol will fight it with all she’s got and I pray others will be inspired through her words.
I do not have this horrible disease but I pray daily for those that do. They are the bravest people I know.
January 10, 2012 at 4:43 am |
Carol, that was so real. Thanks for being vulnerable through your poetry.
January 11, 2012 at 2:31 pm |
Dolores Gillow
January 11, 2012
It is with much pride and love when I say that Carol Miele is my super intelligent, compassionate, loving, and intuitive younger sister. The past fourteen months she has spent fighting Stage iv breast cancer, and her entire family appreciates that every day she continually meets the challenges of this disease. We support her, but she has to do all the work. My wonderful sister has chosen to write about her experiences with breast cancer. Her poetry is beyond beautiful and real, since it is also a helpful tool to vent the anger and frustration patients suffer as they battle the enemy that has invaded their lives. I love my sister and admire her courage and ability to put into words the feelings of all who fight this disease.
January 12, 2012 at 11:09 pm |
Poetry has the power to say that others have been through this, that you can live with it too.